Changes One

Turn and face the strange.

Although I can’t claim to be a superfan by any stretch – I’m not the type to memorize track lists or trivia or argue the merits of one album over the other – I loved David Bowie. For his bewitching voice that could brood – sexy, deep, and foreboding – explode with cut-glass urgency, or shimmer in the ear like a secret stage whisper. For his relentless weirdness, which sprang not from a desire to stand out (“weird for weird’s sake”) but from the jumpy mercurial muse that lived in him – the one he never ignored. And for his courage, to be a long-haired bisexual musician in a dress long before it was remotely acceptable or sexy, and without any bad-ass posse to back him up.

A few weeks ago on Patti Smith’s 69th birthday – the same age Bowie turned just a few days before his death – I declared that “Fuck The Clock” was going to be my motto for 2016. It reflects the effort I’m trying to make in my creative work these days (which might be called anti-effort) to stop trying to force a practice, and just…listen. To be patient. To allow my impulses to lead me, both in terms of the desired product or end-goal and in how I get there. Instead of insisting that I spend a certain amount of time per day doing a series of tasks or following a particular process to begin producing something specific, I’m trying instead to make space and just do what interests me. That might be listening to music or watching ridiculous videos or reading a graphic novel or taking a walk. Whatever it is, I trust that it will lead me somewhere useful. Fertile. And ultimately somewhere that’s engaging to an audience.


It’s not an easy thing to do, this letting go of methodical process, and I can’t say I’m completely comfortable with it in practice. So I keep repeating “fuck the clock”, to remind me that there is no time-frame to produce anything – at least not yet – and by slowing down and listening to my impulses I am bound to arrive somewhere that’s far more nuanced, intriguing, and true – both to me and anyone who witnesses my work – than if I forced a regimented development schedule on myself. I believe this.

For now it’s the thing.

Space→ Trust → Action

Turn and face the strange.


Hi there. I was planning on posting stories here but a number of things have shut me up, or prompted me to shut up. On purpose. I’m trying to create head space, take the necessary time to stare at the ceiling instead of hammer myself into panicked productivity with self-sparked projects, fictional deadlines. So far it’s going…ok. For the most part space has been created. But very little fills it. No grand inspiration, no feverish impulse, no AHA! Which feels supremely strange. And worrisome.

I tell myself to be patient – YES PATIENCE IS THE KEY – but I’ve never been one to wait for inspiration to strike. Jonathan Winters said, “swim out to meet it” and I’m a Jonathan Winters kind of gal.

I’m trying something new here. So no stories for a bit. Except for those I can bang out in a single draft, a single sitting, without any agita, drang, or premeditation.

Design by jason byron nelson

Design by jason byron nelson

Like this post for instance.