I apologize for this smug automatic reply to your email.

To control spam, I’ve taken the misguided step of only allowing incoming messages from senders I have approved beforehand.

If you would like to be added to my list of approved senders, please fill out the short request form (which I haven’t bothered to hyperlink – keep scrolling! The link is below that animated gif in my email signature). Once I deign to approve you, I will receive your original message in my inbox, along with the average of two other emails I receive per day – I know, right?? You’re wondering how I keep up with it all!

I apologize for this one-time inconvenience. (Well ok I’m not really sorry but I promise this process is much more convenient than simply deleting spam from my inbox. For me anyway.) And no, I haven’t given a thought to all the important messages I might miss because I’m too lazy to figure out how to use spam filters. Alienating my friends and holding them responsible for my failings just seems easier, you know? Thanks for understanding.

Click the link below to fill out the request:

https://webmail.pas.earthlink.net/waystoconvinceyourfriendsyourealazyignorantasshole